JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
is that a dick in a sweater?
PANTIES FOUND
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
