Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
her vagine was all disorganized.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
