So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Randomize
