Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
You can't motorboat a personality
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
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