turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize