so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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