I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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