no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
