I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize