nut hugger
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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