Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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