Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
