i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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