Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
