It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
