I haven't been this sober since birth.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
bring money and cleavage
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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