can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
