I didn't shave. On purpose
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
