my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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