Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
