His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
