Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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