i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
