Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
