After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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