Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
