look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
