no. you can't hotbox the world.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Randomize