When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
