biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
