That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
we should paint friendship bongs
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize