He is an equal opportunity slut.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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