I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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