My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
