I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
