elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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