But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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