I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
My vagina is officially offended.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
