just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
