I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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