My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize