Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize