physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
OPIZZABONMYDICK
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Randomize
