It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
