What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
