You really coming over, don't trick.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I deserve this hangover.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize