Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
did you just send me my own nude
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
