A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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