we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
