i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
