I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
