i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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