If that was your dad, he is hot
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
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