My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
