we have officially mastered the walk of shame
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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