Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
