sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
