Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
