please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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