its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
If its not for food we ain't going out.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
