i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
