We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
We have so much sex to catch up on
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
