Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
