Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
